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Don’t Blame Me.

When we can’t explain something, we always look for someone or something to blame. & with childhood cancer, the blaming game seems to be popular against moms. At least for me, it seems as though everyone is quick to blame me. Whether it’s for what I fed him, how I grew him or even where I brought him. The first …

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Family Day

Family day 2016 Two years ago today, started on such a positive note – Mason was having his last inpatient  chemo. However that week we had notice he was having familiar symptoms that he had when he was first diagnosed. We found out later that day that Mason’s cancer was growing instead of shrinking… while on his chemo treatment. The …

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10 Things To Never Say to a Grieving Parent

Things I wish no grieving parent would have to hear. I’ve been debating writing this for some time now. Sometimes without realizing it, you can very much hurt a grieving parent with words. Just this month I had a someone say the words, “What do you expect from me, I cant bring back your child.”  That phrase shattered my heart, …

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Dear 2017

It’s been an emotional one…  & it’s a year that I cant seem to find the right words. I entered 2017 without Mason. The first year without him, and that was horrible. All the first without him, getting his head stone, and trying to adjust to life all seemed impossible. My heart was falling apart and I just couldn’t pick …

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5 years down- a lifetime to go

5years & a lifetime to go. 5 years ago today, on December 22,2012, I walked down the isle to the man of my dreams. It was a mild day for December, and a very exciting one. There was no nerves, only excitement. I watched him through the little window walk with Mason to the front and couldn’t wait to join …

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The Truth about Being Strong

the truth about being strong. Being strong holds so many meanings. To many, it could be how easy you can lift something, how big of a rock you can push or even how powerful you’ve become. To a grieving mother, being strong means something so different. Being called strong means that you have faced the unimaginable. Yes I am mother …

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‘Tis the Season to be..Jolly?

‘Tis the season to be..Jolly? The holiday season is here once again, and don’t get me wrong, I love the holidays… well at least I use to. It’s a magical time that brings family and friends together, full of gorgeous lights and decorations, the feeling of warmth and hearts feeling full of love. A time when kids are so excited …

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Surviving

* S U R V I V I N G * The word we now use so often. When you ask us how we are managing with the death of our son, all we can say is that we are surviving. Why are we only surviving? We had our beautiful son with us for four years and now, to have …

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Change in weather.

It feels like it’s been forever since I put my words onto paper. We’ve been busy with many events,  that we were lucky enough to be apart of, and heard so many beautiful stories about how our little boy inspired others. This post may be a mishmash of feelings but I have so much I want to say. Once all …

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Set in Stone

Almost 14 months have passed without having my Mason. His forever sleep place stayed empty with only a few toys to surround him since the day we buried him, July 2nd 2017. Everyone always told me how sad it was that he didn’t have a headstone yet. What you don’t know is how hard this process is for someone with …